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Another topic in this forum got me thinking about "miserable" problems. You know -- ones that are downright unpleasant yet you can't walk away without giving it a go. They might be classic yet miserable or classically miserable...

For example,

Classy Corner on Seems Easy boulder: Always leaves me with an awesome tendon inspection port on my right ring finger from the topout. Perfectly positioned small boulder jutting out of the ground waiting to destroy an ankle, screwing up an otherwise benign landing area.

No Warm Up on Tiger Stripe boulder: Left hand sidepull hold is guaranteed to pierce the left index finger like a shark tooth after a couple attempts.

Manly Arete: Anyone who's tried but not sent this problem knows this...



Other suggestions?

No one has ever sent manly arete. Even Garth Miller. There's no record of anyone ever getting anywhere on it.

You should see what John Sherman has to say about LCC in Stone Crusade. Basically only one problem is mentionned, the "hardest problem in the world" which if I understand it right it the heinous mantel on the back of the Copperhead boulder (that thing that Steven traverses and mantels in an instructional MVM vid). He describes it as an insignificant shitty looking bulge with crappy moves.
So to answer you question, according to the aforementioned legend, all problems in LCC are miserable.

Also, Rub my butt and the slab to the right of all thumbs @ Secret Garden. Both V4. Good luck.

golden & mr. t
i'm sorry but those two suck
and yes- i've failed on both over and over

that is why LCC lou dubbed that problem BUTT CHECK ARETE.
(well before the first edition was written.)

is anything more classic or more miserable than:

a) Feck

b) Twisted

c) Duct tape

d) The Fat Lady

e) the friggin' crack at the five mile

f) the top out to Triple Threat Arete

g) the top out to Sunset Arete

h) the classic miserable grainy arete in the parking lot

i) the classic leaning dihedral on the same boulder in the parking lot

j) the move only Ethan and Sam can do at the Bird's Nest

k) the idea of finishing Red Letter Day

l) or, Sex Panther

j) or, Babe

k) or, Blue Steel

l) or, even, The Crippler?

m) how 'bout Ring Toss

n) how 'bout Tiny

o) and how 'bout the unrepeated KGB arete?

p) i'm sure i could finish the alphabet if i tried.

q) The High Life

after seeing this photo of sev taken by MANHO i had to add "Q".




which makes me think of:

r) The Egg

s) Dominatrix

t) Worms

u) That entire wall of Veasy problems on the hillside just down canyon from the Egg that i can't climb.

v) and as long as i'm mentioning "Worms", why not "The Worm"?

w) Looking for the Junkie Boulder.

x) Finding paintball scum has thwarted your projecting Ditch Witch, again.

y) the hole that you would get in your finger if you could get to the left hand slap on eclipse

z) Pretty much anything Severedhed is trying to climb!;)

The high life is good! Although my tips disagree.

And dude, the rest of those problems aren't miserable, they're just hard, scary, or hard and scary. The exception, of course, being the grainy arete at the parking lot. That thing is classic and miserable as shit. My tips are hurting just thinking about it.

Manly arete is also definitely miserable purely because it's actually not physically possible to climb it. Superman would fall off the second move. I once heard Chris Sharma doesn't even come back to LCC because manly arete was too manly for him. I also heard it once killed a guy. True story.

However, the most miserable problem in the entirety of LCC is on the rodeo boulder in the resort. Go ahead, look it up in the book. It's a V0 on the west side tucked in between a tree. Try it out - it will ruin your day.

Makes me wish I owned a flamethrower. I know the SLCA is really into cleaning up crags, building trails, and the like, but that kind of manpower should be used for something of importance. Should all spread out, hold hands, and march up the hill until we find that thing.


I was hoping to really narrow the list down to the problems that truly make you hate yourself.

Such a circuit could come in handy for out-of-town visitors that you'd rather not have come back.

And, said circuit would come in handy around, say, birthday challenge time. Especially since mine's in August...

Everything in LCC is miserable in august. Except the river.

I've found the best way to ensure people never come back, though, is to put them on the funkiest, most technical problems and then remind them of the grade. Or, put them on really, really tall shit.

I thought the thread was Classic miserable problems, not "Problems you haven't tried but like to spray about"...

anyway, to re-steer, here are a few:

High Hopes
Alzheimers
Crystal Pinch
Huge
Cheese Whiz
White Child
Citizen Dildo
Rock On
Big Time
etc,
etc,
etc.

Hate the Crystal Pinch.

Best part of being a LCC boulderer is that traveling almost anywhere else is great and makes you feel like a rock star.

I would like to add Jim and Kung-fu to the list.

Ok, gotta through in a couple more....

Chocolate Starfish
Slestak- Moose boulder
Thug Lovin
Erics 8
Mini Bopp
Cigar Problem
Mr. T
Golden

Dude, are you kidding me? That v3ish arete funkness near the mexican boulder? That thing is great! What could you possibly hate about that!

I think all your lists suck, these problems are brilliant. You guys need to experience real painful miserable choss to start loving them.

touche' bud-day.

really tho' - it's hard out there for a pimp!

can't a guy just be enthused about the misery he's seen?

Luv the Crystal Pinch.