My latest GUMBY moment

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tanderson
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My latest GUMBY moment

Postby tanderson » Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:18 pm

I've been getting real bored checking on the Utah Climbers to see if anything is new and interesting. After a really weak weekend of climbing I realized that I may have something worth starting a topic about. What fucking Gumbies my partner (Pete the Meat) and I were at the BumbleBee wall last weekend!

It all started with a post 11:00 am start and discovering that I forgot my harness when arriving at the base of the wall. As a rule, ye who forgets their harness, climbs in slings. None of this pussy "I'm going to drive home real quick" stuff. Anyhow, after making a really shitty and painful harness, I charged up the Bee pitch making damn sure not to fall. At the fixed piton which is about 40 ish up, I had to hang and send slack down to retrieve more gear. I had sewed up the pitch so tightly that you could have back aided it! After getting a wall rack worth of stuff, I climbed up to a chain anchor and painfully lowered off. I must mention that the second part of this pitch had gear placed every 5 feet or less!

Next up was Pete The Meat starting up Sin Nombre. After getting to the jugs above the crux, Pete started to flail and announce that he was going to launch. Looking at my harness, I begged him to try to downclimb. Well, he gave me about 2 feet of downclimbing then let go. It is so great to catch a lead fall in a tiny sling harness.

There is nothing like showing up to a crag and busting so much Gumbytude that everyone around is questioning if you just bought your gear that morning. At least Pete was going for it. I was so slow, creaky and dumping more gear than that rock has ever seen.

Lets here those Gumby Moments!
Last edited by tanderson on Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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i'll play? wtf?

Postby grk10vq » Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:35 am

thats pretty rough tda! way to stick it out, i would've played belay slave and started drinking.

and you speak the truth, brain-slc failed like that once, he manned up and climbed sling style!
it was impressive. totally gross, but impressive. i appreciated the effort.

the only time i think you must go home is in the case of shoes? i dragged shiho out once on a
grk ticklist mission. so i arrive a bit late to the gate parking lot, the plan was to run up the not-
so-fast approach to the five fingers area. we hit the trail, arrive in good time and we shoot the
shit. i rack up, she patiently waits while i run through my pre-send rituals & about 20 minutes
later, i start looking around for my shoes. i look in my bag, under my bag, on my harness, in
the trees, under my hat? you get the point... my shoes are not there. i usually have a pair of
shoes with me, so i tell shiho that they must be in my car? hell, i even remember handling my
said lcc shoes (vipers, of course). so i say, i'll be right back, my shoes are in my car. so i leave
shiho and my shit at the base of bitter fingers/hornets rest and i run off down the trail to my
car, i will also add that i leave my phone in my pack, because why would i need that? so i run
down the trail, nearly sprain every ankle, and stop at my car. i open the car, look for my shoes
and find nothing? wtf? so now, on this more than warm day, i run back up the trail to the five
fingers and the patient shiho. out of breath, I land myself back at the base, empty handed. i
tell her the story, i tell her how i would have called her, and i tell her how my shoes are not in
the car. i then lay out our options, and living about 10 minutes from lcc, she agrees to wait while
i run back home for my shoes. i again, run back down the trail, get in my car, and i head back
home.

I get back home, i look for my shoes, i don't find them? wtf? where are my shoes? i grab a less
than worthy pair and aim for the door. i'm just about to leave when i remember?? hey! i put
them in the fridge! they were there because i usually keep them in the car and this was the
first real warm day of the season (80+ degrees), they'd heated up something fierce! and I was
determined to climb in cold rubber. whats my solution to hot shoes? I put em in the freeezer.
i'm not going to climb any lcc slabs in warm shoes! "aint nobody got time for that!" can i get
an amen? happy as a clam, i grab my frozen shoes and barrel off towards the gate parking lot.
about 30 minutes later, or more? i run my ass back up the trail to the schoolroom, traverse the
crap to the five fingers, and we end up punching out a few pitches. total cluster.
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby shiho » Wed Apr 03, 2013 5:06 pm

Back in spring 2010, my friend Bo, who lives in Vancouver, and I planned on climbing primpose and sisyphus in canyonlands. It snowed a lot that winter and the whiterim road was under construction that spring because of it. So we postponed the adventure. After talking about those climbing for over 6 months, we finally set a date to meet&climb. We did some research and found out that some of the bolts were missing from the 'ear' pitch. So I asked Mike Fredericks if I could use his bigbros. I met Mike at momentum and he kindly showed me how to use and clean those clumsy looking devices (BTW, his bigbros weren't shiney-they showed some wear and tear).

Since Bo lived in Boulder part time, we decided to meet in Moab and carpool from there. We met in Moab, put all of my gear in a truck that Bo managed to borrow from one of his wealthy friends in Boulder, and drove to canyonlands. We got there early, so we decided to rack up for the next day....and I couldn't find my rack!!!!! Ya, I left all my cams, stoppers, slings, including the bigbros at my house in SLC. Luckly, Bo had enough gear for the weekend and we had a blast. As we're climbing Primrose, Bo confessed that he had been wanting to climb Primrose for over 20 years! I am not sure why he waited that long to climb it.

Six months passed from the trip, grk decided to leave his climbing shoes at his house. (I took a very pleasant nap while waiting on grk). Karma is a bitch?

Grk got me beer after climbing that day-all was good.

tanderson
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby tanderson » Wed Apr 03, 2013 5:54 pm

Great posts! Just what I wanted to see!
Waiting for Backclips GUMBY moment.....
What about you Mr. Folsom?
Tea?
Brian in Salt Lake?
I know General Smoot has some
How bout the owner of this website????
Pete the Meat?
Alexi?


I remember getting stuck above the offwidth before traversing west on Schoolroom with three people in our party. Two of us were 15 and the other 16. We had one rope and couldn't figure out how to complete this pitch with one rope. Climbing on a bight at the half way point of the rope wasn't even considered. Luckily we were instructed by two older twin dudes one how to manage those logistics.

What about the time I needed an Etrier to climb 5.9??

http://flic.kr/p/e8yxL1



Gumby on.

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boissal
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby boissal » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:04 pm

Too many to chose from...
Every time I get on a rope something happens.

One that strikes me as particularly amusing is an old epic on the Outside Corner. When I was in grad school and still taking it seriously I was doing a lot of late afternoon/night climbing since days would be spent hating life in the lab. One evening I rush out of there with buddy Jason and his noob girlfriend. They were talking about the Slips but I am pretty keen on avoiding overly shameful activities and instead suggested the Outside Corner. I described the route, they were both confident that she could do it and he's pretty solid. So off we went and we were on the route by 7PM. I ran up P1, set a belay, brought her up, or rather attempted to, and after 90 minutes realized I had sandbagged everyone and thing we gonna get sour.

She eventually collapsed at the belay and it was clear we were not going to finish the route with no headlamps and a very unpleased lass in tow. Jason got busy extracting himself from the dog house (read: being useless in dealing with the situation) and I sat there wondering how to get off without leaving too much gear behind. Just as I came up with a rad plan the wind picked up and we heard thunder. Uh oh. So instead of taking chances with rappelling down the route and getting both ropes stuck I flipped the slings to the E side, threw a rope and told them we're gonna rap to the base of Second East Face and walk the talus. It appears I had no idea where Second East Face was since we ended up way higher in the heinous scree than I've ever wanted. They totally bought it though and trusted I knew what I was doing. The lady rappelled safely then took a step across the looseness to get away from the base of the extremely chossy rap line and promptly ate shit down 20' of sharp choss. Jason quickly followed to help and also went down hard. I started wondering if the talus was going to be a bigger problem than expected then noticed that the rope was very stuck and it had started raining. Since there was no way I'd leave a brand new 10.2 rope to get soaked and beaned by choss all night, I decided to solo back up the "pitch" to get it. It looked easy enough so I didn't bother with tying loops in the rope and clipping. I got 2/3 of the way up to a bid dead tree that had created a massive tangle on the rap and had fought me furiously for the rope. I climbed through it, stood on it then pushed off to get to the next move and down goes the whole tree. It went crashing down the gully and almost took my partners out. I almost went with it but somehow stuck to some shrubbery. After calming down I made it to the anchor, realized I had left all the slings with Jason so I couldn't extend it and had to toss the rope and downclimb. I finally made it to the base, tried to take a step across the scree and took the same digger the other two had taken. We were sitting there looking extremely unpleased when it starting pouring. It took us another 20 minutes to make it to the car. Jason lost his glasses in the scree and couldn't see where he was going. I finally realized I had left the keys in my pack at the base of the route. I still don't know why I hauled a pack to the base, I think it had something to do with the two ropes. Anyway, I had to run back up that slick muddy slope to get my pack which had washed down the talus. Keys were found.

The next day Jason and I went back up and he found his glasses. We then proceeded to climb the route to wash away the bad taste it had left the day before. His headlamp died about 30' into the 3rd pitch. I couldn't hear him and cursed his name for an hour and he inched up the pitch. When I finally started climbing and cleaning his placements horrified me. The ones I could see that is because my headlamp was dying fast. I topped out and found him sitting in the dark braced against an #2 that looked like an umbrella and a slung constriction that wasn't pinched all the way. The sling was halfway out already. The headlamp he had borrowed was mine. It was my spare which had perfectly good batteries until I replaced them at the base with a set of dead ones that was sitting in my pack (I always keep a fresh set in theory) thinking I was dealing with my own fading headlamp.
We never climbed much after that...
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby BackClip » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:32 pm

I am with Bossial. So many to chose from. I will start with this one from the 90's.

TDA and I had been getting after it lately. We had our sights set on a 10 pitch 5.10 Ron Olevsky route in Snow Canyon called Babes in Thailand. We had planned all week to get out of work at Brianhead and get our kits ready for a early Snow Canyon day. It was only a hour away since we lived in Cedar town.

We woke up early the next day and started the drive south. Stopped by McDonalds b/c TDA knew the manager was working and the McMuffins would be extra fresh (so funny, dude is always in tune with little stuff like this at eating establishments). So we grabbed our gut bombs and commenced the drive. It was a beautiful Spring day in St. G. We cruised out the Pinto road because it is 'faster' (actually 6's). A nice morning drive down a forgotten road.

We got into Snow Canyon and parked in the parking area. TDA pulled out his pack and was chomping, this was typical of the time period, he earned the nickname the 'Sarge' from us back then. I was searching in the back of the Blazer, no pack, searching in the back seat, no pack. Finally I had to admit to the Sarge that I forgot my pack. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, " I hope you don't mind climbing in slings and your Nike's, we are doing this." I felt my balls hit my throat. I knew we would be swinging leads and he wouldn't take no for an answer. "Uh, yeah, lets do this!" was my reply.

Most of the route is a blurry memory expect the '5.8+' pitch somewhere around pitch 7 that was mine. It was wild and ended at a stance with a Welcome Mat, stuffed just out of reach in a crack. I do remember following the 5.9 R/X chimney TDA led, thanking god it wasn't my pitch. I also remember pitch 9. A weird awkward traverse on Ron-O moki steps that I protected with a found pink Tri-Cam on Sheer Lunacy the week before. Tda was stoked I found a pocket to slide it in. I do remember being mostly gripped the whole way. I also remember the pain of rappelling with shoulder slings. That shit hurts, for real. I hold this as a top 10 for me. I mean have you climbed Sandstone in Nike's before?
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby boissal » Thu Apr 04, 2013 10:46 am

Jeebus... That's plain heinous. You guys must have a treasure chest full of mean moments from your days in CC. I doubt anything I've done comes close but here's one that involves the chossy owner of this website.

When we had our epic on the Thumb with the rope catching the only chickenhead on the whole upper slab and becoming irretrievably stuck, we lined up one of the proudest series of gumby moments in history. It started with me getting half lost on the second slab pitch of S-Direct and going straight up to a random bolt instead of traversing to the belay, setting myself up for one of the worst slab traverses I've ever done. We then failed to make the summit due to fearing that exposed move up top without the bolt (third time for me). We rapped into Spring Fever, did the upper pitches then found JimmyG's anchor to rap the route and promptly got the rope stuck. We ended up at the first anchor of Standard Thumb above Lunch Ledge both tied into the stuck rope and bouncing around like idiots (to no avail). After a minor breakdown we decided to finish ST because what else could we do? I called my then girlfriend with the last bit of juice in my cell phone and fed her a big lie about having a great day and going to the bar so she wouldn't call SAR on us (in hindsight, 95% of our actions that night were driven by the burning desire to avoid a rescue by Dave Budge and the ensuing torrent of mockery). Shaft tied in a bight in the middle of the stuck rope and I led up the chimney with about 40' of rope and no gear (we had done S direct and Spring Fever, I had 4 microcams I think). I couldn't see crap without a headlamp and managed to fall 15' or so with 1 crappy piece in. I finally stopped when I got wedged in the chimney 10' above the belay. Shaft was looking a bit concerned... We ended up leading the wide part in short blocks, belaying from stances with one shaky cam and hating life. Eventually we got to the end of the rope and abandoned it on a tree. We finished the easy pitches simul climbing on a 8mm static line with one piece between us. We made the top at midnight and walked off in climbing shoes collecting ticks missing all the raps except for one we set up off a dead shrub that ended up coming out of the ground and nearly dropping us...

After stopping at Betos and passing out for a few hours, we found ourselves on day 2 on the Thumb approach at 2PM. People kept asking where we were headed and shaking their heads when we told them. We hiked to the top with 2 70m ropes and enough gear for El Cap. Lassoed chickenhead pendulums and 5.6 slab with packs were on the menu for the 4 hours it took to get there. We dropped the 2 lines down the slab and I rapped to free the rope then taught myself how to tie prussiks and jug. I could have thought about that before I guess... Anyway, we make it back to the big rap tree behind the summit, drop the ropes and down I go. 15' lower I'm battling a knot 4' in diameter and worth 450' of rope. The heavy backpack keeps rolling me backward and I'm hanging upside down in tree branches fighting the knot. I threw a fit of such proportions people could hear it from the gate parking lot apparently. I eventually wrestled the ropes into submission and got down. Shaft followed then tried to pull the rope and it wouldn't budge. I would have cried at that point but I was too pissed and had shouted myself hoarse so it was a quiet struggle. We both tied in one rope and ran down the slabs pulling a couple inches at a time and getting pulled back up. We got the ropes after another hour and walked off, missing all but the dead shrub rap. Round trip must have taken 10 hours, we spent over 24 hours on the Thumb that weekend. Wonder why I refuse to go back... A week later I talked to ChrisT who told me he had done something up there the morning we hiked back up, seen the rope, climbed to it but decided to leave it since he was sure people would come back for it.
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tanderson
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby tanderson » Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:02 am

a semi-climbing Gumby Moment:

I found a potato gun while cleaning apartments in the summer of 1999. Most people know that they are made of 2" pvc pipe. The end of the pipe is sharp so you can push an oversized potato into the barrell and it peels it to fit the tube tightly. Anyhow, I drove to the closest crag in Cedar City dubbed the bowling alley. My brilliant idea was to shoot key holds with potatos and perhaps up the ante on future ascents with potato chunks and slime. Anyhow, I took out the largest potato in the sack and began pushing the legume into the sharp ended barrell. After putting all my weight into it, it quickly went in and I caught my right thumbnail on the sharp edge and peeled it all the way back! With a bleeding and throbbing thumb, I figured I may as well shoot off the painfully stuffed potato.

I loaded the back of the gun with hairspray, pointed it at the nearest route, hit the barb-e-que sparker, and watched in dismay as the spud fell passively five feet out. Wondering what the heck happened, I opened up back of the gun and had the entire White Rain hairspray blow up in my face! I was standing there without eyebrows and eyelashes, crusty lips, a throbbing bleeding thumb with its nail bent entriely backwards. Last I remembered, I angrily throw the potato gun into the weeds and drove home to drink.

Serves me right for trying to shoot spuds and climbing routes.

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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby boissal » Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:12 am

Brilliant!

Two seasons ago I was struggling with my lead head on granite much more than usual. One day I'm out with Shaft wandering the GreenA looking for easy stuff to get comfortable on. We do Cranial, it goes really well and I start feeling like I should get back on something with less holds (slabs have gone from being my absolute favorite things to something I have nightmares about). I get on Smitty's, clip the bolt then get up into the dihedral with the slab feeling surprisingly good. I'm usually a bit gripped on that green patina but not this time. I'm joking with Shaft while placing an absolutely perfect nut. It's so good I climb above it not bothering with the usual gear. I get to the little alcove and start fiddling with a small piece when Shaft decides to point out that I didn't clip the nut. Just placed it and climbed past to a point where I'd have decked if I had fallen. I went from feeling like Sharma to decomposing into a pile of quivering fear. I think I climbed another pitch after that and it was the extent of my granite season. I moved onto the much more solid rock at Hellgate and happily placed gear there...
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby shiho » Thu Apr 04, 2013 1:40 pm

not my epic story, but I found a really good one that involves a couple of utah climbers.

http://www.supertopo.com/tr/Mt-Moran-Di ... 1894n.html

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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby ddriver » Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:33 pm

shiho wrote:not my epic story, but I found a really good one that involves a couple of utah climbers.

http://www.supertopo.com/tr/Mt-Moran-Di ... 1894n.html


Hey, I resemble that remark. 8) Glad you liked it.

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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby ddriver » Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:39 pm

Did the forgotten harness thing one time. Going to Durango and stopped at Colorado National Monument to climb Otto's Rt. Got to the parking lot and discovered the packs were still at the house. Oops. Had a duffel in back that had some 1" webbing, some ratty runners and quicks, a few chocks, a handful of 'biners, and one pair of rock shoes. We managed the route with me leading all the pitches in the rock shoes and the wife following in tennies. All was well until we had to rap the route using harnesses built from spectra slings using carabiner break rappels. Ouch.

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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby rudyj2 » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:11 pm

Not a true climbing GUMBY moment. But it does include a rope and harness.

Just the other day I decided to ski the NW cooly on the Pfiefferhorn. I had never done it nor had I ever rappeled during a ski descent. I figured it was time so I headed out by myself, not having taken the time to arrange a partner. I arrived on top in fine fashion and got my shit together for the descent. After getting past the first choke the snow softened and the angle eased a little and I started to feel comfortable, so I started making some turns, each one a little faster (which is of course not fast at all since I am old, alone and scared).
So after a couple of turns I drill a rock just under the snow surface. And just like that I am out of control sliding down the chute towards the rappel with 1 ski on. I manage to get stopped by jamming my elbow in the snow and pulling a few muscles in my shoulder. I also manage to catch my sky by the binding with my pole basket before it dissapears.

Toatally shook up I get my ski on (I thought anyways) and start descending again, only to realize my dinafiddles didn't engage properly and I just barely manage to save my ski from descending with out me again. Now I am freaking out and just want to get it over with..... but not before making one more mistake.

Now everything I had read about NW cooly said I needed enough rope for a 50' rappel. So I brought 100' of rope. Well, that was not enough and I end up rapping off the ends of my rope with 10' to go. After several icy chimney moves I am finally through the ordeal.

Sincerely,
A true GUMBY
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby boissal » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:55 pm

Damn dude... The NW hasn't been all that forgiving in the past few years, glad to hear you didn't pancake at the bottom. The elblow-self arrest might be a gumby move but if it ensures you don't plummet to your doom I'd say it's legit!

I skied off the E shoulder of the Twins with the Lumberjack a few weeks back. Conditions were horrendous and we decided to not push to the top. We were standing on top of a rocky hollow wind slab with potential to slide and/or mess you up. About 2 seconds after the Lumberjack remarked that one should stay classy through the first few turns I drop in, sink a tip, go over the handlebars in the choke, roll and somehow manage to dig my fat ass in and not take a ride. Embarrassment ensued.

Anyway, this thread DELIVERS. Keep it coming.
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Re: My latest GUMBY moment

Postby ZOSO » Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:34 am

Ahhhh. Good insomnia reading. Thanks.

Boissal: Outside Corner and S-Direct have done me in too, albeit maybe not as severely.

Being young and with extreme hubris, I hauled a group of 6 or 7 up O.C. with (count it) 1 rope. We spent the better part of the day tossing and retossing the rope. For kicks, (or stupidity, you decide) I told everyone we were to descend off the east side. This led to that wonderful scree you were talking about. Someone in the group, doesn't really matter who, dislodged a watermelon size block that barreled down the slope and took out the quarter panel on a Monte Carlo driving up the road. It was nice to have some pines to hide behind and pretend that it was an act of God, not my gumbiness. Next time I did the route, I laughed @ how simpleton the correct descent was.

Second pitch of S-direct I led off into the blank: My partner offered the rack to me before my lead but I turned it down stating that it was a "sport" pitch. So of course, I forget to make the traverse back left and end up climbing semi-gritty 5.8ish friction for about 75 feet until the rope runs out. Staring at me whilst I had none of the gears, was a nice crack that would've taken a few cams. Instead, I barely reach some sort-of lame sapling and hitch onto it calling it the belay. Then, of course, the descent got jacked and we were all quite dehydrated, but that's kinda how it always goes for me. So that seems normal.
Last edited by ZOSO on Sun Apr 07, 2013 10:09 am, edited 1 time in total.


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