Hands, that choss is MINE! I moved to within walking distance of Parleys with the specific purpose of developing the rock north of I80 in a manner pleasing to the masses. I plan on minimizing my carbon footprint by walking across the overpass on my way to multiple FAs. That way I can use as many cans of compressed air I want to clean the bolt holes I will drill every 4". In the end Alex Honold will HAVE to come solo some of these routes and Dean Potter will base jump off the top. And maybe land on a 18-wheelers, that would make my blog posts so much sweeter...
You'll then all HAVE to thank me and want to buy my crusty fixed lines and I'll disappear into the sunset to find an all-you-can-eat pizza joint.dongs.
Yo mama's so fat her patronus is cake.